Thursday, November 12, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Sex, Lies and ... David Letterman?
What the fuck?
After a long bout of abstinence from television, I decided to turn the damned thing on and check out just what was playing on the 248,827,112.5 channels that I pay recockulous amounts of leafy green spendy money for every month.
I wish I would have just shot myself.
There are FEW things I care less about than what the Kardashian family does on the weekends or with their loose, floppy, grossly overused, incapable vaginas on said weekends. But I have to say, on that elite list of unimportance is the motherfucking Holy Grail of B.S., the David Letterman sex scandal.
Why do we as people take such fascination with the goings on of this man's crotch? I am becoming worried that the youth of America will eventually just STOP breathing out of sheer stupidity.
There are plenty of other things to worry about that are FAR more important and entertaining than the goings on of this man's shriveled member. We could be taking more of an interest in things that might actually benefit mankind. Solving the Energy Crisis, ending World Hunger, establishing Universal Healthcare, Finding Waldo ... I could go on and on.
And yet we have to ask ourselves in spite of this revelation that what he does with his limp little love-limb is his own business and not that of the general public or the media, are we addicted to celebrity?
I have to say that it is a very real phenomenon, this addiction to knowledge. It is an opportunity to be voyeurs without the possibility of going to jail. It is an opportunity to be in on the ultimate Gossip. I cannot even buy groceries without being bombarded with candid imagery of celebrities I really could give two shits about, tabloids filled with stories about celebrities personal lives. It has gotten to the point that we have entire television channels, fucking dedicated frequencies of transmitted electrical signals through fucking SATELLITES IN ORBIT that bring us the news about Miley Cyrus and the godforsaken Jonas Brothers.
The youth today know more about any given celebrity than anything else. Math? Go Fish. Science? Hell no. History? Not a goddamn chance in hell. Lindsey Lohan? If colleges gave out degrees for usless shit, there would be hundreds of thousands of graduates with Ph.D's in Lohanology.
I have a challenge for anyone reading this. Try and go a month without reading about, thinking about, exposing yourself to, or even fucking CARING about what goes on in the media. If you survive, you will have earned some of that humanity back you lost when you momentarily bought into the concept of 9/11 being a government conspiracy.
After a long bout of abstinence from television, I decided to turn the damned thing on and check out just what was playing on the 248,827,112.5 channels that I pay recockulous amounts of leafy green spendy money for every month.
I wish I would have just shot myself.
There are FEW things I care less about than what the Kardashian family does on the weekends or with their loose, floppy, grossly overused, incapable vaginas on said weekends. But I have to say, on that elite list of unimportance is the motherfucking Holy Grail of B.S., the David Letterman sex scandal.
Why do we as people take such fascination with the goings on of this man's crotch? I am becoming worried that the youth of America will eventually just STOP breathing out of sheer stupidity.There are plenty of other things to worry about that are FAR more important and entertaining than the goings on of this man's shriveled member. We could be taking more of an interest in things that might actually benefit mankind. Solving the Energy Crisis, ending World Hunger, establishing Universal Healthcare, Finding Waldo ... I could go on and on.
And yet we have to ask ourselves in spite of this revelation that what he does with his limp little love-limb is his own business and not that of the general public or the media, are we addicted to celebrity?
I have to say that it is a very real phenomenon, this addiction to knowledge. It is an opportunity to be voyeurs without the possibility of going to jail. It is an opportunity to be in on the ultimate Gossip. I cannot even buy groceries without being bombarded with candid imagery of celebrities I really could give two shits about, tabloids filled with stories about celebrities personal lives. It has gotten to the point that we have entire television channels, fucking dedicated frequencies of transmitted electrical signals through fucking SATELLITES IN ORBIT that bring us the news about Miley Cyrus and the godforsaken Jonas Brothers.
The youth today know more about any given celebrity than anything else. Math? Go Fish. Science? Hell no. History? Not a goddamn chance in hell. Lindsey Lohan? If colleges gave out degrees for usless shit, there would be hundreds of thousands of graduates with Ph.D's in Lohanology.
I have a challenge for anyone reading this. Try and go a month without reading about, thinking about, exposing yourself to, or even fucking CARING about what goes on in the media. If you survive, you will have earned some of that humanity back you lost when you momentarily bought into the concept of 9/11 being a government conspiracy.
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