Reason Number One - She admits that she masturbates and does it as regularly and as fervently as I do if not more. Try and get your girlfriend to admit it. Even if she does, mine's still better. There are nine more reasons. Neener neener!
Reason Number Two - She loves sex and is open to bisexual threesomes. NEENER NEENER NEENER!
Reason Number Three - Smarter than the average bear, indeed! Highly creative, appreciative of artistic and literary endeavors and is a self taught and accomplished painter. Can I get a straight neener?
Reason Number Four - She is one of the few followers of the Church of Saint Chaney, Patron Saint of Blasphemers and Defilers. Neenerage.
Reason Number Five - My girlfriend doesn't think its nerdy that I like to write, draw, or read comics. In fact, she encourages everything I do with constructive criticism and is just generally extraordinarily helpful. Neener FUCKING Neener.
Reason Number Six - My girlfriend has a long and sordid history in the BDSM community and is well known by many as a holy terror. Thats right bitch. Neener.
Reason Number Seven - Despite my obvious straightness my girlfriend manages to instill homoerotic thought processes...and makes me like them... Neener? ...Juries out on that one.
Reason Number Eight - My girlfriend threatens me with sticky tape and tweezers. And I'm afraid. I mention wool sweaters, she cringes. She's not cookie-cutter, she has an opinion, and she's fun to laugh with. Definite Neener.
Reason Number Nine - My girlfriend has helped shape my interpretation of the metaphysical and sexual nature of being eaten alive. Neener.
Reason Number Ten - She actually suggested I write this. And will probably reward me later. 9.3 on the Neener Scale.
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